Portland’s NW Elixirs wins awards at NYC Hot Sauce Expo

By Michael Russell, The Oregonian 
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on April 26, 2013 at 6:02 AM, updated April 26, 2013 at 6:49 AM

 

NW Elixirs saucesView full sizeNW Elixirs Hott Sauce #1 and Verde Hott #2, made in Portland.

Andrew Garrett went to New York with several cases of hisNW Elixirs hot sauce and came back with a handful of prizes.

Squaring off against a national roster of artisanal hot sauce makers at New York City’s first annual Hot Sauce Expo, the former Cafe Nell chef took home first prize in the jalapeño division for its No. 2 Verde Hott. The Portland-based hot sauce line also won second place in the chipotle division for its No. 3 Hott Smoke and third place in habanero for its No. 1 Hott Sauce.

The sauces, which come in nifty nine-ounce apothecary bottles (about $12 each), are available at Portland’s Local Choice, City Market and Foster & Dobbs, nationally through Williams Sonoma and online atnwelixirs.com ($9 plus shipping).

So, what hot sauces does Garrett like when he’s not sampling his own product? Here are three of his favorites:

Army Officer, Wife Accused of Child Abuse With Hot Sauce ‘Training’

A U.S. Army major and his wife are facing federal child-abuse charges for cruelty to their six children, three of whom were adopted. The alleged acts of cruelty include breaking their bones, denying them medical attention, withholding water and force-feeding them hot sauce, U.S. Attorney Paul J. Fishman said today.

John E. Jackson, 37, and Carolyn Jackson, 35, worked at the Picatinny Arsenal Installation in Morris County, N.J. Because the alleged crimes occurred on a military base, they will be tried in a federal court.

The Jacksons are charged in a 17-count indictment with one count of conspiracy to endanger the welfare of a child, 13 counts of endangering the welfare of a child and three counts of assault.

“Carolyn and John Jackson are charged with unimaginable cruelty to children they were trusted to protect,” Fishman said in a statement. “The crimes alleged should not happen to any child, anywhere, and it is deeply disturbing that they would happen on a military installation. Along with the FBI, we will continue to seek justice for our communities’ most vulnerable victims.”

A Picatinny Arsenal Installation spokesman told ABC News that Maj. Jackson resided there from 2007 until late last year.

“We’ve been cooperating with investigators for some time and will continue to do so, ” the spokesman said.

The alleged abuse occurred from 2005 until 2010 when the Jackson’s engaged in a “constant course” of neglect and cruelty to their three adopted children and told their three biological children not to report the physical assaults, saying the punishments were “training” the adopted children how to behave, according to the indictment.

The indictment alleges that the Jacksons withheld water from their children and assaulted them with objects, causing fractured bones. The report also says the parents caused the children to consume food meant for suffering, including red pepper flakes, hot sauce and raw onion. They also allegedly caused one child to ingest excessive sodium or sodium-laden substances while being deprived of water, leading to a life-threatening condition.

The defense teams for the parents did not return a request for comment.

The children are  in the custody of the New Jersey Division of Child Protection and Permanency.

Several support websites and online groups for Carolyn and John Jackson have been developed since the abuse allegations first became known in 2010.

One website, ReuniteJackson7 , maintains the Jackson’s are innocent and asks for donations for legal fees. New Jersey attorney Grace Meyer’s address  is listed on the website as the place to send in donations. When ABC News contacted Meyer, she said she doesn’t know who is behind the website. She added that she had not received any donations and was unaware that her name was on the website.

Meyer said she represented the family from 2010 through last year.

“I represented them for two years in court. I believe God is in control of this and I just know they’ll be exonerated,” Meyer said.

If the Jacksons are convicted, each faces a maximum potential penalty of 10 years in prison on each of the 17 counts. Each count also carries a maximum $250,000 fine.

Both are scheduled to appear in  a U.S. District Court Thursday 11 a.m. before Judge Mark Falk.

Eating Fire

Why do people feel compelled to put the world’s spiciest chili peppers in their mouths?

By |Posted Wednesday, April 10, 2013, at 1:29 PM

Butch T Scorpion pepper
Butch T Scorpion pepper

Courtesy of eBay

I’ve always wanted to be the kind of guy who eats really spicy things. Nobody wants to be the wimp who orders the mild Buffalo wings when everyone else at the table is opting for “nuclear.” But I also never wanted to be the guy with tears of pain running down his face, reaching for the bread and choking out a request for a glass of milk. Jalapeños were about as hot as I would go, and only in small doses—preferably diffused by a hefty dose of cheese and tortilla chips. If you had asked me the week before I did it, I would have scoffed at the notion of voluntarily chewing and swallowing the world’s hottest pepper.

Peppers taste hot because of a chemical called capsaicin that causes our nerve cells to react as if they have been burned, though without doing any actual damage. The amount of capsaicin in a pepper is measured on a scale of Scoville units. Banana peppers, those greenish-yellow antipasto favorites, are rated at up to 900 Scoville units—I can handle those. Jalapeños clock in at between 3,500 and 8,000 Scovilles. Cayenne pepper, which is sold ground and in crushed red pepper blends, comes in at over 30,000 Scoville units. I ate a flake of that stuff once at Pizza Hut when I was 8 years old and haven’t touched any cayenne since.

Ghost peppers, which held the Guinness world record between 2007 and 2011, hit about 1,001,000 on the Scoville scale. But in early 2012, a new variety of scorpion pepper was accepted into the Guinness Book of World Records as the world’s hottest. Native to Trinidad and Tobago, it is so named for the pointed bottom of the fruit, which indeed resembles the stinger of a scorpion. The Butch T variety of the scorpion pepper (named after Butch Taylor, the American who developed it) blows the ghost pepper out of the water at 1,463,700 Scovilles.

Ultra-hot peppers occupy a unique role in the West. They have been created specifically for the purpose of being horribly painful to people (usually men) who deliberately inflict this pain on themselves—typically in front of others. Other cultures have analogs of this behavior: The men of one Amazon tribecover their hands with venomous ants in a ceremony so painful that one American participant said that he would have cut off his arm with a machete to stop the pain if he’d been able to. Other cultures enjoy ritual cutting or scheduled beatings. Young American men sometimes consent to hazing rituals in the course of rushing a fraternity or joining a sports team, but rarely do they involve pain as pointed as that of eating an ultra-hot pepper.

One evening last October, my friend Jenny brought me some Butch T peppers she had grown in her garden. I had invited a few friends over to make bear burgers and jalapeño bear poppers (long story). As we cooked and ate, these red, wrinkled little peppers seemed to taunt us from the kitchen counter.

Call it peer pressure if you like, or chalk it up to one too many beers. In any case, these peppers refused to be ignored. Before I knew it, Jenny and I were each holding a pepper in our hands. We looked each other in the eye, toasted our peppers warily, and then simultaneously popped them into our mouths and began to chew. My girlfriend decided to record the entire thing on my camera. (This was before I discovered the small community of people on YouTube who like to record their experiences eating incredibly hot peppers. Millions of people watch these videos for entertainment—when pain is deliberately self-inflicted, misery becomes hilarious.)

At first, the pepper didn’t taste hot at all—in fact, it had a gentle floral flavor. After a few seconds, the heat began to hit. This pepper was hotter than anything I had ever tasted. But it was about to get worse.

The scorpion pepper creeps up on you, getting incrementally fiercer over the course of a minute or so until your whole face feels like it has turned into lava. At roughly the same moment, Jenny and I both leapt off of my couch and ran for the kitchen. We madly mixed together everything that was supposed to help mitigate the effect of spicy food: milk, oil, and sugar, poured haphazardly first into our cups and then directly into our mouths. The combination provided momentary relief.

“Let’s never do this again,” I croaked from between clenched teeth.

The problem with never doing it again is that one can only hold the credential of having eaten the world’s hottest pepper for so long. Breeding ultra-hot peppers is an international arms race. Hobbyists and commercial growers are constantly trying to develop new varieties that will top the previous record and claim the title. Holding the record means both bragging rights and marketing muscle—or even military muscle. In 2009 the Indian military announced plans to weaponize the ghost pepper: Incorporated into sprays or grenades, the chili’s nightmarish Scoville assault would temporarily blind and disable any human target. However, most of the market for ultra-hot peppers is in hot-sauce manufacturing. The claim that a sauce is made with the world’s hottest pepper is a reliable advertising hook (though, of course, such products can be diluted so that one made with scorpion peppers isn’t necessarily any hotter than a bottle made from habañeros).

Weaponry and marketing aside, is there any good reason for these types of peppers to exist? I would never have put that pepper in my mouth if it hadn’t held the “world’s hottest” title. I ate it in order to win bragging rights for having eaten it. But that doesn’t mean eating hot peppers is merely a meaningless display of machismo. Ritualized pain is an invisible talisman of sorts: Having eaten the world’s hottest pepper, I feel that there’s nothing the world can throw at me that’s any worse than what I’ve already experienced. That’s a very powerful sensation. For the cost of a vegetable and an hour or so of one’s time, it’s actually a pretty good deal.

WOW TALK ABOUT ERRORS

SO A FRIEND JUST SHARED THIS ARTICLE WITH ME AND I KEEP FINDING ERRORS.

PEOPLE SHOULD DO RESEARCH BEFORE DOING AN ARTICLE LIKE THIS.

Eating Fire

Why do people feel compelled to put the world’s spiciest chili peppers in their mouths?

By |Posted Wednesday, April 10, 2013, at 1:29 PM

Butch T Scorpion pepper
Butch T Scorpion pepper

Courtesy of eBay

I’ve always wanted to be the kind of guy who eats really spicy things. Nobody wants to be the wimp who orders the mild Buffalo wings when everyone else at the table is opting for “nuclear.” But I also never wanted to be the guy with tears of pain running down his face, reaching for the bread and choking out a request for a glass of milk. Jalapeños were about as hot as I would go, and only in small doses—preferably diffused by a hefty dose of cheese and tortilla chips. If you had asked me the week before I did it, I would have scoffed at the notion of voluntarily chewing and swallowing the world’s hottest pepper.

Peppers taste hot because of a chemical called capsaicin that causes our nerve cells to react as if they have been burned, though without doing any actual damage. The amount of capsaicin in a pepper is measured on a scale of Scoville units. Banana peppers, those greenish-yellow antipasto favorites, are rated at up to 900 Scoville units—I can handle those. Jalapeños clock in at between 3,500 and 8,000 Scovilles. Cayenne pepper, which is sold ground and in crushed red pepper blends, comes in at over 30,000 Scoville units. I ate a flake of that stuff once at Pizza Hut when I was 8 years old and haven’t touched any cayenne since.

Ghost peppers, which held the Guinness world record between 2007 and 2011, hit about 1,001,000 on the Scoville scale. But in early 2012, a new variety of scorpion pepper was accepted into the Guinness Book of World Records as the world’s hottest. Native to Trinidad and Tobago, it is so named for the pointed bottom of the fruit, which indeed resembles the stinger of a scorpion. The Butch T variety of the scorpion pepper (named after Butch Taylor, the American who developed it) blows the ghost pepper out of the water at 1,463,700 Scovilles.


Ultra-hot peppers occupy a unique role in the West. They have been created specifically for the purpose of being horribly painful to people (usually men) who deliberately inflict this pain on themselves—typically in front of others. Other cultures have analogs of this behavior: The men of one Amazon tribecover their hands with venomous ants in a ceremony so painful that one American participant said that he would have cut off his arm with a machete to stop the pain if he’d been able to. Other cultures enjoy ritual cutting or scheduled beatings. Young American men sometimes consent to hazing rituals in the course of rushing a fraternity or joining a sports team, but rarely do they involve pain as pointed as that of eating an ultra-hot pepper.

One evening last October, my friend Jenny brought me some Butch T peppers she had grown in her garden. I had invited a few friends over to make bear burgers and jalapeño bear poppers (long story). As we cooked and ate, these red, wrinkled little peppers seemed to taunt us from the kitchen counter.

Call it peer pressure if you like, or chalk it up to one too many beers. In any case, these peppers refused to be ignored. Before I knew it, Jenny and I were each holding a pepper in our hands. We looked each other in the eye, toasted our peppers warily, and then simultaneously popped them into our mouths and began to chew. My girlfriend decided to record the entire thing on my camera. (This was before I discovered the small community of people on YouTube who like to record their experiences eating incredibly hot peppers. Millions of people watch these videos for entertainment—when pain is deliberately self-inflicted, misery becomes hilarious.)

At first, the pepper didn’t taste hot at all—in fact, it had a gentle floral flavor. After a few seconds, the heat began to hit. This pepper was hotter than anything I had ever tasted. But it was about to get worse.

The scorpion pepper creeps up on you, getting incrementally fiercer over the course of a minute or so until your whole face feels like it has turned into lava. At roughly the same moment, Jenny and I both leapt off of my couch and ran for the kitchen. We madly mixed together everything that was supposed to help mitigate the effect of spicy food: milk, oil, and sugar, poured haphazardly first into our cups and then directly into our mouths. The combination provided momentary relief.

“Let’s never do this again,” I croaked from between clenched teeth.

The problem with never doing it again is that one can only hold the credential of having eaten the world’s hottest pepper for so long. Breeding ultra-hot peppers is an international arms race. Hobbyists and commercial growers are constantly trying to develop new varieties that will top the previous record and claim the title. Holding the record means both bragging rights and marketing muscle—or even military muscle. In 2009 the Indian military announced plans to weaponize the ghost pepper: Incorporated into sprays or grenades, the chili’s nightmarish Scoville assault would temporarily blind and disable any human target. However, most of the market for ultra-hot peppers is in hot-sauce manufacturing. The claim that a sauce is made with the world’s hottest pepper is a reliable advertising hook (though, of course, such products can be diluted so that one made with scorpion peppers isn’t necessarily any hotter than a bottle made from habañeros).

Weaponry and marketing aside, is there any good reason for these types of peppers to exist? I would never have put that pepper in my mouth if it hadn’t held the “world’s hottest” title. I ate it in order to win bragging rights for having eaten it. But that doesn’t mean eating hot peppers is merely a meaningless display of machismo. Ritualized pain is an invisible talisman of sorts: Having eaten the world’s hottest pepper, I feel that there’s nothing the world can throw at me that’s any worse than what I’ve already experienced. That’s a very powerful sensation. For the cost of a vegetable and an hour or so of one’s time, it’s actually a pretty good deal.

ARTICLE ABOUT CHILES YOU MIGHT RECOGNIZE A FEW NAMES Modern Farmer: When approaching the world’s hottest chile pepper, caution seems wise....

modfarm:

imageWhen approaching the world’s hottest chile pepper, caution seems wise. “Be careful,” says San Diego-based chile grower Jim Duffy, who mailed me a sample of the Moruga Scorpion, which he is trying to get in the Guinness Book of World Records for its insane level of heat. Duffy isn’t kidding…

SUSSEX GRILL

WORST FOOD IN ENGLAND ???????

So it’s been a long time but I finally have a review and this one is special. This is my 1st review overseas.
As I’m writing this it’s hard to sit down. My ass is sore from wiping. The food I ate gave me a case of the coffee runs. That’s when it feels like you are pissing out your ass. Ok lets get to the review. 1st off I knew I was asking for trouble just by the outside of the building but I was hungry. In the last 2 days I have not had much food. This was going to be my 1st experience at a restaurant here in the UK. Wow if this is great food send me home lol ( i know the UK has better food than this). I looked around and was very impressed with how dirty the tables were.it’s not that often you see enough chunks of food on a handful of tables to fill a bowl. Some of the tables look as if they had crust. I knew I was in for a treat when I started a conversation with a few flies that we’re circling my bald head. I didn’t understand them but I think they were telling me to turn around and walk away. anyways stupid me ignores all of it and decides to ask “hey what’s good” the man says back “everything good” I could tell he was from India so I had some high expectations ( I love Indian food but this wasn’t a Indian restaurant)
So I told him I just came from the states and this is my 1st time eating in the UK. He was excited he was going to serve me Doner Kebab. it was hard to understand him and his assistant didn’t talk at all. He kinda moaned a lot and stared at the flies. From what I understood I was getting lamb kebab and a water. I will say I enjoyed the water but that’s it. When he handed me my plastic fork and my styrofoam container containing what looked like human flesh with mayo I was scared. It had no smell at all. The meat really looked like cadaver. I know from a previous job what genuine skinned human flesh looks like. Anyway it was a strange rubbery meat wrapped in some of the worst naan I have ever had. he had asked if I wanted chilli or garlic and me loving garlic I chose garlic. Now I have had some funky ass food before but this was beyond strange. The texture is hard to explain. Kinda like a rubbery spam. It was in very long strips with a very rancid tasting white sauce (WTF I SAID GARLIC NOT BANDAGE WASTE). What was amazing is the strong fish flavor I got (made me think of chum). I believe the man had been handling a bunch of raw fish before making my meal and decided He didn’t need to wash his hands. I must thank him the fish flavor kinda covered up the unknown rancid flavor. So after about 4 bites I thought I might puke on the dirty table so I decided to leave. As I walked up I was in complete shock. I saw where the meat came from. They had these 2 large chunks of white things that slowly spin. As the meat spins the flies jump off the meat so they don’t get cooked and then land again. I told the guy “you have a few flies on that stuff” but I don’t know if he understood me. Now I have had rotisserie style lamb and I can tell you that this stuff wasn’t lamb. Lamb has a natural game flavor. This stuff looked and had the texture of” loaf” loaf is like spam its “compressed meat. You sweep all the nasty parts and leftover crap from the slaughterhouse and compress it with chemicals and bonding agents to make loaf. And that’s what that “Doner meat” looked like. I did enjoy the water and the side of vegetables. The vegetables were fresh and fishy 😊. Never had fish flavored onions. I think maybe that guy should start washing his hands before serving people. After talking to some people I have been told that this actual place was so bad Gordon ramsey failed it for Kitchen Nightmares and I believe it. I don’t think the flies complain because they have a place to lay eggs but the roaches do. The cockroaches have standards that even this place can’t meet. Maybe if I was completely wasted on Guinness I would enjoy it but I know the next day I would pay the price. So if you have not been able to take a dump in the last week stop over at Sussex Grill and order the Barrus Special (Lamb Doner Kebab) and I promise you won’t be constipated long. Or if you know someone looking for a few flies to go fishing with see if they can catch you a few hundred. 
I was very kind to the staff I smiled and pretended it was the best ever. I’m a guest here and even not liking the food I wanted to be respectful to all the people in this great country. Hopefully this is the last review I write in he UK but If i find another nightmare I will make sure to tell you about it.

SUSSEX GRILL

So it’s been a long time but I finally have a review and this one is special. This is my 1st review overseas.
As I’m writing this it’s hard to sit down. My ass is sore from wiping. The food I ate gave me a case of the coffee runs. That’s when it feels like you are pissing out your ass. Ok lets get to the review. 1st off I knew I was asking for trouble just by the outside of the building but I was hungry. In the last 2 days I have not had much food. This was going to be my 1st experience at a restaurant here in the UK. Wow if this is great food send me home lol ( i know the UK has better food than this). I looked around and was very impressed with how dirty the tables were.it’s not that often you see enough chunks of food on a handful of tables to fill a bowl. Some of the tables look as if they had crust. I knew I was in for a treat when I started a conversation with a few flies that we’re circling my bald head. I didn’t understand them but I think they were telling me to turn around and walk away. anyways stupid me ignores all of it and decides to ask “hey what’s good” the man says back “everything good” I could tell he was from India so I had some high expectations ( I love Indian food but this wasn’t a Indian restaurant)
So I told him I just came from the states and this is my 1st time eating in the UK. He was excited he was going to serve me Doner Kebab. it was hard to understand him and his assistant didn’t talk at all. He kinda moaned a lot and stared at the flies. From what I understood I was getting lamb kebab and a water. I will say I enjoyed the water but that’s it. When he handed me my plastic fork and my styrofoam container containing what looked like human flesh with mayo I was scared. It had no smell at all. The meat really looked like cadaver. I know from a previous job what genuine skinned human flesh looks like. Anyway it was a strange rubbery meat wrapped in some of the worst naan I have ever had. he had asked if I wanted chilli or garlic and me loving garlic I chose garlic. Now I have had some funky ass food before but this was beyond strange. The texture is hard to explain. Kinda like a rubbery spam. It was in very long strips with a very rancid tasting white sauce (WTF I SAID GARLIC NOT BANDAGE WASTE). What was amazing is the strong fish flavor I got (made me think of chum). I believe the man had been handling a bunch of raw fish before making my meal and decided He didn’t need to wash his hands. I must thank him the fish flavor kinda covered up the unknown rancid flavor. So after about 4 bites I thought I might puke on the dirty table so I decided to leave. As I walked up I was in complete shock. I saw where the meat came from. They had these 2 large chunks of white things that slowly spin. As the meat spins the flies jump off the meat so they don’t get cooked and then land again. I told the guy “you have a few flies on that stuff” but I don’t know if he understood me. Now I have had rotisserie style lamb and I can tell you that this stuff wasn’t lamb. Lamb has a natural game flavor. This stuff looked and had the texture of” loaf” loaf is like spam its “compressed meat. You sweep all the nasty parts and leftover crap from the slaughterhouse and compress it with chemicals and bonding agents to make loaf. And that’s what that “Doner meat” looked like. I did enjoy the water and the side of vegetables. The vegetables were fresh and fishy 😊. Never had fish flavored onions. I think maybe that guy should start washing his hands before serving people. After talking to some people I have been told that this actual place was so bad Gordon ramsey failed it for Kitchen Nightmares and I believe it. I don’t think the flies complain because they have a place to lay eggs but the roaches do. The cockroaches have standards that even this place can’t meet. Maybe if I was completely wasted on Guinness I would enjoy it but I know the next day I would pay the price. So if you have not been able to take a dump in the last week stop over at Sussex Grill and order the Barrus Special (Lamb Doner Kebab) and I promise you won’t be constipated long. Or if you know someone looking for a few flies to go fishing with see if they can catch you a few hundred.
I was very kind to the staff I smiled and pretended it was the best ever. I’m a guest here and even not liking the food I wanted to be respectful to all the people in this great country. Hopefully this is the last review I write in he UK but If i find another nightmare I will make sure to tell you about it.

REVIEW OF GRUMPY’S CAFE So today we stopped at Grumpy’s Cafe on route 101 in rockaway beach oregon. This place is all about awesome homemade American comfort food. As you pull into the parking lot across the street you can smell the awesome food. It’s a very small cafe with 8 booths and 4 tables. Its small but has a massive friendly atmosphere. As we sat at a booth the owner handed us menus. As I was looking at the deserts case the owner sees this and says ” yes sir everything is made here fresh daily” I fell in love It was about 1pm and we both wanted a late breakfast. I ordered chicken fried steak with eggs and hash browns. My wife ordered a ham and cheese omelet. This was as homemade as you can get. The gravy was spectacular I must say the whole breakfast was awesome. After not having one complaint with breakfast I thought I have to try the deserts. I got a slice of coconut cream pie and my wife got a fresh homemade cinnamon roll. Now I can say this with a little confidence. I’m a fat man and have had my fair share of coconut cream pie. This pie was the best coconut cream pie I have had. Between the layer of crust and cream was a layer of fudge :-) Looking around The place you see goodies everywhere. Awesome homemade cookies made fresh the size of small plates for .75 to homemade meatloaf that smells so good you would pay double for a slice. It’s a small blue building that’s a rock toss from the ocean. I suggest anyone that’s driving along the Oregon coast stop for some grub. Yeah I would sum it up like this. Greasy spoon meets homemade grub diner. It gets an A+ from me. Nice menu with a great selection, Fast friendly service. I will be back.
Pop-upView Separately

REVIEW OF GRUMPY’S CAFE
So today we stopped at Grumpy’s Cafe on route 101 in rockaway beach oregon. This place is all about awesome homemade American comfort food. As you pull into the parking lot across the street you can smell the awesome food. It’s a very small cafe with 8 booths and 4 tables. Its small but has a massive friendly atmosphere. As we sat at a booth the owner handed us menus. As I was looking at the deserts case the owner sees this and says ” yes sir everything is made here fresh daily”
I fell in love It was about 1pm and we both wanted a late breakfast. I ordered chicken fried steak with eggs and hash browns. My wife ordered a ham and cheese omelet. This was as homemade as you can get. The gravy was spectacular I must say the whole breakfast was awesome. After not having one complaint with breakfast I thought I have to try the deserts. I got a slice of coconut cream pie and my wife got a fresh homemade cinnamon roll. Now I can say this with a little confidence. I’m a fat man and have had my fair share of coconut cream pie. This pie was the best coconut cream pie I have had. Between the layer of crust and cream was a layer of fudge :-)
Looking around The place you see goodies everywhere. Awesome homemade cookies made fresh the size of small plates for .75 to homemade meatloaf that smells so good you would pay double for a slice. It’s a small blue building that’s a rock toss from the ocean. I suggest anyone that’s driving along the Oregon coast stop for some grub. Yeah I would sum it up like this. Greasy spoon meets homemade grub diner. It gets an A+ from me. Nice menu with a great selection, Fast friendly service.
I will be back.

REVIEW OF GRUMPY’S CAFE So today we stopped at Grumpy’s Cafe on route 101 in rockaway beach oregon. This place is all about awesome homemade American comfort food. As you pull into the parking lot across the street you can smell the awesome food. It’s a very small cafe with 8 booths and 4 tables. Its small but has a massive friendly atmosphere. As we sat at a booth the owner handed us menus. As I was looking at the deserts case the owner sees this and says ” yes sir everything is made here fresh daily” I fell in love It was about 1pm and we both wanted a late breakfast. I ordered chicken fried steak with eggs and hash browns. My wife ordered a ham and cheese omelet. This was as homemade as you can get. The gravy was spectacular I must say the whole breakfast was awesome. After not having one complaint with breakfast I thought I have to try the deserts. I got a slice of coconut cream pie and my wife got a fresh homemade cinnamon roll. Now I can say this with a little confidence. I’m a fat man and have had my fair share of coconut cream pie. This pie was the best coconut cream pie I have had. Between the layer of crust and cream was a layer of fudge :-) Looking around The place you see goodies everywhere. Awesome homemade cookies made fresh the size of small plates for .75 to homemade meatloaf that smells so good you would pay double for a slice. It’s a small blue building that’s a rock toss from the ocean. I suggest anyone that’s driving along the Oregon coast stop for some grub. Yeah I would sum it up like this. Greasy spoon meets homemade grub diner. It gets an A+ from me. Nice menu with a great selection, Fast friendly service. I will be back.
Pop-upView Separately

REVIEW OF GRUMPY’S CAFE
So today we stopped at Grumpy’s Cafe on route 101 in rockaway beach oregon. This place is all about awesome homemade American comfort food. As you pull into the parking lot across the street you can smell the awesome food. It’s a very small cafe with 8 booths and 4 tables. Its small but has a massive friendly atmosphere. As we sat at a booth the owner handed us menus. As I was looking at the deserts case the owner sees this and says ” yes sir everything is made here fresh daily”
I fell in love It was about 1pm and we both wanted a late breakfast. I ordered chicken fried steak with eggs and hash browns. My wife ordered a ham and cheese omelet. This was as homemade as you can get. The gravy was spectacular I must say the whole breakfast was awesome. After not having one complaint with breakfast I thought I have to try the deserts. I got a slice of coconut cream pie and my wife got a fresh homemade cinnamon roll. Now I can say this with a little confidence. I’m a fat man and have had my fair share of coconut cream pie. This pie was the best coconut cream pie I have had. Between the layer of crust and cream was a layer of fudge :-)
Looking around The place you see goodies everywhere. Awesome homemade cookies made fresh the size of small plates for .75 to homemade meatloaf that smells so good you would pay double for a slice. It’s a small blue building that’s a rock toss from the ocean. I suggest anyone that’s driving along the Oregon coast stop for some grub. Yeah I would sum it up like this. Greasy spoon meets homemade grub diner. It gets an A+ from me. Nice menu with a great selection, Fast friendly service.
I will be back.

ted-the-fire-breathing-idiot:

One of the best and funniest gifts I have ever received. Thanks Christopher El Sergio Birkinbine for the shirt. I will make sure to use it!!!!!!

 when you watch it turn up the volume.

I will miss you man =(

Let’s talk about this Wing Joint SmokeEaters from the T.V show Man VS Food. 1st off Addam Richman should be slapped for going to a a place this disgusting. The location I went to was in downtown San Jose and finding it was a whole other nightmare I don’t want to talk about. As soon as we pulled up in front of the establishment I was nervous I didn’t know if I wanted to leave the car. I thought the homeless and the gang members might be fighting for who gets to jack me first. We entered the establishment and the 1st thing you see is the dirty tile floor. It looks as if it’s cleaned with vomit, feces and semen.( knowing the location I’m sure it has lots of semen on the floor)The floor was gross I have never seen a floor so dirty at a restaurant in my life. I went to the filthy counter to ask if someone takes my order or if I place it here. The man gave me a dirty look spoke in Spanish and then went back to drawing a picture on a piece of binder paper( I guess he is the restaurants private artist because when we left 40 minutes later he was still drawing) I saw another woman and asked her and she said in as little English as possible “order here” she looked as if she was one of the homeless and was just helping out for free scraps( that’s one way to kill the homeless problem)I go to order and the woman gives me a blank stare and then walks away. Another woman then walks up and asks if I want to order. My wife asked for Supreme Nachos and that shit looked disgusting. I have had better food at a 7-11 in Compton. I myself asked to try the HELLFIRE Challenge. I had seen it on Man VS Food and I saw Adam was struggling on it so I wanted to try it. I asked the woman how it’s prepared? What peppers do you use and do you use pepper extract I then asked about the rules. She told me all they add is Habanero sauce and she doesn’t know the rules. I then started yelling because the restaurants artist decided to turn the T.V so loud they could hear it in Russia. So I yelled how do I do it if you don’t have the rules. The woman told me to go read them down on the wall on the other side of the dirty restaurant. I placed my order and 20 minutes later my wife’s Nachos came( they looked like all they do is pick food up off the floor, put it on some multi colored chips and call it nachos.) My wife had a hard time eating them. I swear to god the meat and meat sauce( ordered chicken) looked just like cat food. Tiny little cubes you see in friskies wet cat food. My wife thinks cat food might taste better but we don’t really want to compare. 20 minutes after the Kitty Platter comes my wings come. As soon as she starts walking towards us my wife and I can both smell the Ghost Peppers. I am a chili head so I say with a little confidence I know my peppers. That dirty liar told me habanero sauce is all they use. I can handle pretty much anything natural that doesn’t have a Ton of capsaicin extract but why be dishonest to people. So I tell her the wings are incredibly hot so hot steam is rolling off of them and we need to let them cool a little .she says ” sorry mr you have to start NOW”. I’m thinking Fu@* this its too hot to touch how am I going to eat them. ( today my mouth and throat are all burned from that challenge. )So I started and the first thing I taste is EXTRACT pepper extract taste like sh!t. It’s vile tasting and SUPER HOT. At first I didn’t think it was a too hot I could taste a lot of Ghost Peppers and thought the heat would only be around that level. After 2 minutes into this challenge the heat was way above Ghost peppers. I had to contend with 2 problems #1 the meat was hot to the touch it just came out of the fryer and was burning my fingers #2 the extract was burning everything it touched too( next day my hands and face had chemical burns from all the extract). The sauce was super thick and they poured around 5 cups over the wings ( thank god they don’t make you drink the sauce left in the paper bowl it would be like chugging a bottle of Hot Sauce). I finished the wings in a little over 6 minutes the woman then told me to lick my hands and face as clean as possible. After I did that they started the timer again for 5 more minutes ( I had to wait an additional 5 minutes before trying to cool the burn THEY CALL IT AFTER BURN )After I did the 5 additional minutes I asked the lady for some ice cream and that caused her to laugh. I said “if you don’t have ice cream bring me some milk” she laughed some more and told me they don’t have anything to help with the burn her exact words “we don’t have any dairy products you need to bring your own”. FREAKOUT TIMEI then started cursing and told them” this is fuc*ed up you need something to help people… who the fuk brings ice cream and milk to a restaurant?) She told me to suck on some sugar cubes and drink some water. ( did thus dumb slop server laugh at me and tell me to suck on sugar cubes?)They don’t care about what happens to the customer. I started to freak out because my mouth was already physically burned from the temperature of the wings. I went to the bathroom and that was a complete nightmare. This bathroom was a complete disaster. I was afraid to puke in the toilet because of fecal splash back ( looked like out of the last 30 people that pooped in that toilet only 3 flushed.) graffiti was EVERYWHERE including the toilet seat. This restroom should be the site of the next E.P.A. superfund cleanup site.I ran out of the restroom and told my wife we need to leave I need a restroom to puke in and or a ice cream shop. I think it’s dangerous and irresponsible for this establishment to not have any dairy products for people to purchase after this type of challenge. If anyone is planning a visit to this nightmare they call a restaurant I say pass unless you have received all your vaccination shots and have a cast iron stomach. I think the only reason they get any type of business is Adam Richmond made a mistake of going here and now they have that as a big way to attract more victims to eat that awful food. If you have the chance to eat here PASS its disgusting and I only have negative things to say but if your a serious chili head and want to try a real wing challenge and have all your vaccinations up to date stop in. This is the challenge info below. You think you like it hot, do ya? The Smoke Eaters Hellfire Challenge has humbled even the bravest hot wing lovers. Even “professional eater” Adam Richman of the Travel Channel’s Man v Food show barely finished our epic challenge. You’ll sweat, you’ll weep, you’ll wish you hadn’t been so crazy. We dare you.WHAT’S THE HELLFIRE CHALLENGE10 minutes to chow down 12 wings smothered with our hottest Hellfire sauceNo drinksNo napkins, lick your fingers cleanThen you’ve got five minutes to feel the afterburnAbandon all hopeAS SEEN ON MAN V FOODThis is another review from a different chili head I found. I don’t want to over state the hotness of these wings, I know there is hotter. Like eating 10 Ghost Peppers in 10 minutes! I am the guy that amazes everyone with the eating of the Habenero pepper at the party, etc. I eat Dave’s Insanity Ghost Pepper Hot Sauce like its Ketchup. I thought these wings would be a joke. I rolled up there and when they came out, it changed my perspective on this challenge. The sauce is thicker than Tomato Paste straight out of the can. There has got to be three cups of the sauce, so much sauce that the bowl weighed close to 5 pounds all in and the wings were totally submerged, totally. Reaching into this bowl of Paste to pull out the first wing I got half my hand submerged in the sauce and it was on from there. I had the brilliant idea that I wasn’t going to be a wuss and just eat around the wing like Adam did, I was going to put the whole wing in my mouth and pull it out without a single drop of anything on it. The pain after just two wings was so intense my body went into shock. After just two wings, I had just as much of the sauce on my face as Adam after 12 and I thought my strategy was a zero sauce on face strategy. I started shaking, my eyes went blood shot red and tears began pouring down my face. I got tunnel vision and I threw in the towel. I’m telling you, anyone that can eat 12 of these has trained at it for a long time and is a total stud. The fact that Adam did this gives me such a spectacular amount of respect for him! Adam, you are the MAN!!! SmokeEaters Hot Wings 29 S 3rd St, San Jose, CA 95113, California
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Let’s talk about this Wing Joint SmokeEaters from the T.V show Man VS Food.
1st off Addam Richman should be slapped for going to a a place this disgusting. The location I went to was in downtown San Jose and finding it was a whole other nightmare I don’t want to talk about.
As soon as we pulled up in front of the establishment I was nervous I didn’t know if I wanted to leave the car. I thought the homeless and the gang members might be fighting for who gets to jack me first.
We entered the establishment and the 1st thing you see is the dirty tile floor. It looks as if it’s cleaned with vomit, feces and semen.( knowing the location I’m sure it has lots of semen on the floor)
The floor was gross I have never seen a floor so dirty at a restaurant in my life. I went to the filthy counter to ask if someone takes my order or if I place it here. The man gave me a dirty look spoke in Spanish and then went back to drawing a picture on a piece of binder paper( I guess he is the restaurants private artist because when we left 40 minutes later he was still drawing)
I saw another woman and asked her and she said in as little English as possible “order here” she looked as if she was one of the homeless and was just helping out for free scraps
( that’s one way to kill the homeless problem)
I go to order and the woman gives me a blank stare and then walks away. Another woman then walks up and asks if I want to order. My wife asked for Supreme Nachos and that shit looked disgusting. I have had better food at a 7-11 in Compton. I myself asked to try the HELLFIRE Challenge. I had seen it on Man VS Food and I saw Adam was struggling on it so I wanted to try it. I asked the woman how it’s prepared? What peppers do you use and do you use pepper extract I then asked about the rules. She told me all they add is Habanero sauce and she doesn’t know the rules. I then started yelling because the restaurants artist decided to turn the T.V so loud they could hear it in Russia. So I yelled how do I do it if you don’t have the rules. The woman told me to go read them down on the wall on the other side of the dirty restaurant. I placed my order and 20 minutes later my wife’s Nachos came
( they looked like all they do is pick food up off the floor, put it on some multi colored chips and call it nachos.)
My wife had a hard time eating them. I swear to god the meat and meat sauce( ordered chicken) looked just like cat food. Tiny little cubes you see in friskies wet cat food. My wife thinks cat food might taste better but we don’t really want to compare. 20 minutes after the Kitty Platter comes my wings come. As soon as she starts walking towards us my wife and I can both smell the Ghost Peppers. I am a chili head so I say with a little confidence I know my peppers.
That dirty liar told me habanero sauce is all they use. I can handle pretty much anything natural that doesn’t have a Ton of capsaicin extract but why be dishonest to people.
So I tell her the wings are incredibly hot so hot steam is rolling off of them and we need to let them cool a little .she says ” sorry mr you have to start NOW”. I’m thinking Fu@* this its too hot to touch how am I going to eat them. ( today my mouth and throat are all burned from that challenge. )
So I started and the first thing I taste is EXTRACT pepper extract taste like sh!t. It’s vile tasting and SUPER HOT. At first I didn’t think it was a too hot I could taste a lot of Ghost Peppers and thought the heat would only be around that level. After 2 minutes into this challenge the heat was way above Ghost peppers. I had to contend with 2 problems #1 the meat was hot to the touch it just came out of the fryer and was burning my fingers #2 the extract was burning everything it touched too( next day my hands and face had chemical burns from all the extract). The sauce was super thick and they poured around 5 cups over the wings ( thank god they don’t make you drink the sauce left in the paper bowl it would be like chugging a bottle of Hot Sauce)
. I finished the wings in a little over 6 minutes the woman then told me to lick my hands and face as clean as possible. After I did that they started the timer again for 5 more minutes ( I had to wait an additional 5 minutes before trying to cool the burn THEY CALL IT AFTER BURN )
After I did the 5 additional minutes I asked the lady for some ice cream and that caused her to laugh. I said “if you don’t have ice cream bring me some milk” she laughed some more and told me they don’t have anything to help with the burn her exact words “we don’t have any dairy products you need to bring your own”. FREAKOUT TIME
I then started cursing and told them” this is fuc*ed up you need something to help people… who the fuk brings ice cream and milk to a restaurant?) She told me to suck on some sugar cubes and drink some water. ( did thus dumb slop server laugh at me and tell me to suck on sugar cubes?)
They don’t care about what happens to the customer. I started to freak out because my mouth was already physically burned from the temperature of the wings.
I went to the bathroom and that was a complete nightmare. This bathroom was a complete disaster. I was afraid to puke in the toilet because of fecal splash back ( looked like out of the last 30 people that pooped in that toilet only 3 flushed.) graffiti was EVERYWHERE including the toilet seat. This restroom should be the site of the next E.P.A. superfund cleanup site.I ran out of the restroom and told my wife we need to leave I need a restroom to puke in and or a ice cream shop.
I think it’s dangerous and irresponsible for this establishment to not have any dairy products for people to purchase after this type of challenge.
If anyone is planning a visit to this nightmare they call a restaurant I say pass unless you have received all your vaccination shots and have a cast iron stomach. I think the only reason they get any type of business is Adam Richmond made a mistake of going here and now they have that as a big way to attract more victims to eat that awful food.
If you have the chance to eat here PASS its disgusting and I only have negative things to say but if your a serious chili head and want to try a real wing challenge and have all your vaccinations up to date stop in.

This is the challenge info below.

You think you like it hot, do ya? The Smoke Eaters Hellfire Challenge has humbled even the bravest hot wing lovers. Even “professional eater” Adam Richman of the Travel Channel’s Man v Food show barely finished our epic challenge. You’ll sweat, you’ll weep, you’ll wish you hadn’t been so crazy. We dare you.

WHAT’S THE HELLFIRE
CHALLENGE
10 minutes to chow down 12 wings smothered with our hottest Hellfire sauce
No drinks
No napkins, lick your fingers clean
Then you’ve got five minutes to feel the afterburn
Abandon all hope
AS SEEN ON MAN V FOOD


This is another review from a different chili head I found.


I don’t want to over state the hotness of these wings, I know there is hotter. Like eating 10 Ghost Peppers in 10 minutes! I am the guy that amazes everyone with the eating of the Habenero pepper at the party, etc. I eat Dave’s Insanity Ghost Pepper Hot Sauce like its Ketchup. I thought these wings would be a joke. I rolled up there and when they came out, it changed my perspective on this challenge. The sauce is thicker than Tomato Paste straight out of the can. There has got to be three cups of the sauce, so much sauce that the bowl weighed close to 5 pounds all in and the wings were totally submerged, totally. Reaching into this bowl of Paste to pull out the first wing I got half my hand submerged in the sauce and it was on from there. I had the brilliant idea that I wasn’t going to be a wuss and just eat around the wing like Adam did, I was going to put the whole wing in my mouth and pull it out without a single drop of anything on it. The pain after just two wings was so intense my body went into shock. After just two wings, I had just as much of the sauce on my face as Adam after 12 and I thought my strategy was a zero sauce on face strategy. I started shaking, my eyes went blood shot red and tears began pouring down my face. I got tunnel vision and I threw in the towel. I’m telling you, anyone that can eat 12 of these has trained at it for a long time and is a total stud. The fact that Adam did this gives me such a spectacular amount of respect for him! Adam, you are the MAN!!!

SmokeEaters Hot Wings

29 S 3rd St, San Jose, CA 95113, California

ted-the-fire-breathing-idiot:

THE BEST & WORST OF TED THE FIRE BREATHING IDIOT
People have asked for a video like this so I made one. I’m sorry it’s long but it’s hard to make a video like this real small.
WARNING some of the scenes are disturbing.

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